3.7.13

Lessons on How Not to Give a Fuck: When You're Around Negative People


 
My first instinct around negative people is to leave. Come back when they are in a better mood. It is the easiest and most effective way to keep your own day from being poisoned. But...we all have situations when we can't leave...we are trapped around a grouchy co-worker, condescending boss, know-it-all classmate, or mean family members. These are some tips on how to stay positive and mindful when you're forced to spend time around people who...aren't.


"Be happy, be yourself..and if anyone doesn't like it...let them be." - anon


1. Don't take it personally
This is a big one, and something that takes a while to be able to do. We all have our own story. Everyone is going through their own personal stresses every day, and some of us are better at dealing with them than others. Sometimes it's just a lot to bear, and as a result people's moods suffer. We all have reasons that we are the way we are.

I am NOT saying that this makes it okay for people to be grouchy and rude to other people. But taking a step back and realizing that it isn't just you personally - it is their mood in general - helps to keep you from being offended. Do not allow anyone to physically harm or run all over you, but if they are just being cranky or rude there is no reason to let it effect your calm and pull you down. Sometimes people are just having a shitty day/week/year/life(?) and it has nothing to do with you. Realizing that makes it easier to let their negativity bounce right off, and to not give a fuck about it.


2. Wish them well.
Yes, really. I know this sounds very beta, or even like being a pushover...and the opposite of what most of us feel like doing when someone is grouchy toward us. Hear me out: The last thing you want to do when dealing with rude people is to let them get to you and ruin your mood. This is exactly what they want! They also win once you have sucessfully been pulled down to their level. I used to have a major problem with this, any time someone was rude or mean to me I wouldn't relax until I dealt them a dose of their own medicine right back. I would get heated and very angry about it, and usually waste a lot of time arguing or trying to prove a point in the process. I thought keeping my cool made me seem weak. I was incredibly wrong, and I am so happy I grew up and grew out of that.

All I succeeded in doing when I let people get to me was ensure the rest of my day was spent being stressed out, complaining. That is not the way I want to live. Plus I realized that most times people just wanted to get under my skin. The cliche is so true...misery really does love company. While I draw the line at being overly nice and allowing people to try to control or manipulate you, simply wishing them the best and focusing on yourself is efficient. Really, truly wishing them well, sending sincere good vibes there way...these are all good feelings. These good feelings will attract more good feelings and good thoughts, and in turn not only will your mood stay positive, it will get even better. It is impossible to feel bad and have good thoughts.

When you continue, unfazed by negativity, to have a cheerful disposition and be genuiniely happy and wishing the best for everyone this leaves you feel amazing and carefree. Who knows, it may even cheer up or soften the mood of the person(s) around you, because being in a perpetually grouchy mood sucks, and no one should have to live that way. And if they do, you shouldn't have to give a fuck.


"Everyone must become their own person, however frightful that may be. "

― Albert Einstein

 

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