Being too nice is a blessing and a curse. On one hand it's good to be around people who genuinely care about others and want to help them, but on the other hand if you are that person you inevitably end up getting taken advantage of. As someone who has always been on the nicer, more empathetic side of the scale I've seen first hand how people mistake kindness for weakness. There's just a certain point where you just have to realize you deserve respect and act accordingly. Doesn't mean the solution is to be an asshole. Do no harm, but take no shit.
The world has enough ugly in it, there's no need to add to it...but these are a few observations I've noticed that tip the scale from someone who's just a really nice person...to someone who's a pushover:
1. You Always Say Yes
AKA being a people pleaser. This is a problem for a few reasons. First off, if your answer is always "Yes" or whatever people want to hear when they ask for your opinion, your opinion wont hold much weight after a while. I value a harsh but honest opinion over one that is flattering but not true any day. if you feel like you would lose friends or people wont like you as much if you say No when you feel like it, those people probably weren't friends to begin with.
2. You Bend Over Backward To Help People, Constantly
People who go out of their way to helps others when they need it are amazing friends, no doubt about that. But when you find that you are starting to inconvenience yourself by helping others out, it's time to re-evaluate. The bad thing about this is usually the people who will ask someone to do something that they KNOW is an inconvenience are usually moochers. Meaning it wont be just one favor, they'll ask you for things repeatedly, almost with a sense of entitlement after a while.
3. You Compromise a lot
Compromising is a sign of maturity. But when you are ALWAYS the one doing the compromising, you might be a pushover. Take a stand sometimes, your opinion is just as valid as anyone else's. Compromising a lot is another thing that can easily turn into a pattern, and make people have less respect for your opinion since you are so easily willing to change it anyway.
4. You're Overly Apologetic
When people are too apologetic it makes things feel awkward. I even know people who are apologetic for BEING apologetic. Stop it! Your opinions and action make you who you are, you are just being yourself...no need to apologize about that. Obviously if you actually goofed up or did something you regret, apologies are awesome, but if you find yourself apologizing for just being yourself...or liking something you happen to like, having your own opinion..you might be a pushover.
5. You get Taken Advantage of Quite a Bit
This was a big one for me. I would always try to be a super good friend, co-worker, student..whatever...and go out on a limb for people. Then I started noticing a pattern...people get much more comfortable with asking favors (big and small) once you start doing them. Instead of being seen as a nice person you start getting seen as an easy mark.
6. You Have Difficulty Expressing Your Opinions
Again, your opinions are just as valid as anyone else's. People who are too nice tend not to want to express their opinions so as not to offend anybody. Stop it. This also comes back to self esteem...value yourself and your feelings. Then stand behind them. If you have trouble speaking up or expressing what you're really feeling because you don't want to offend anyone, you're being a pushover.
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